Promise
by I'veGotManyNames
Summary: It's the morning after Mello left and Matt is desperate for something to hold onto. And if that something is a little girl that is way too mature and asks him to make curious promises, then so be it.


Disclaimer: I do not own Death Note. Sadly.

**WARNINGS: Err, I'm not sure? I don't think there's anything I have to warn you of.**

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Promise

He stares at the note. Such a simple note it is, short and to the point as always.

And it's not the first of these notes that he receives, but staring at the crumpled piece of paper he believes in the words written on it for the first time. He believes that his best (his only) friend is serious this time. He is leaving. And he's already gone. He can feel it. And he breaks down.

The only thing that cheers him up a bit is the single teardrop that fell from his friend's eye onto the paper. Because it's proof that the other was sad, too. That it broke his heart, because he has never seen his friend cry. He still hasn't seen it. But he has proof now. The other is capable of tears. He can cry.

And suddenly the tears start spilling from his eyes. Sobs rack his body and he puts the note away carefully. He can't stand to have it damaged in any way.

Tears fall from his eyes and onto his shirt. He cries and cries until he doesn't know the time anymore. When he looks out of the window he can see that sunset is rapidly approaching.

Yesterday he would have never guessed that he'd be sitting on the floor right now crying because his best friend left. For good this time.

And he's just about to take a trip down the memory lane, when a quiet knock on the door interrupts his thoughts.

It's Natasha. The slim blonde reminds him of the one that left. She always has just a bit. But now that he's gone the sight of her is enough to make him break down again.

Natasha sighs and walks over to him.

"I'm sorry," she whispers and her arms reach out to hug him. He lets her. Because she reminds him of… his best friend. His only friend. "I'm so sorry, Matt."

She lets him cry for a bit then she walks over to her bag that was dropped next to the door when she entered. She opens it and takes out a black leather jacket. Her eyes are filled with tears as she hands it to him.

"It's not much, but it's all I was able to get and I… I hope it… helps… a bit."

Matt stares at her. He stares at the jacket. And ever so slowly his eyes widen as realization dawns on him. And he believes, no, he knows that Natasha is the sweetest, most considerate person he'll ever meet.

And he can see she's clearly shaken, but she's keeping up a front. For him. And the thought that she cares enough is nice but it reminds him that no one else does, because if they did Natasha wouldn't be the only one here. But he honestly hasn't expected them to care and he doesn't really want them to. Because there was never more than one person in his life that cared and he doesn't feel like breaking tradition.

Before he can get too lost in his thoughts he looks at Natasha again.

"Thank you," he chokes out. "It's…" But he just can't find the right words. Natasha just smiles and as she puts the jacket in his hand Matt thinks that her smile is way too understanding for a ten-year-old.

She takes a step back, probably to give him some room, but he grabs her hand and pulls her into a hug and buries his face in her shoulder. His tears are probably ruining her blouse but Natasha doesn't seem to care and he knows he doesn't.

He just wants Natasha to hold him, to comfort him. He wants her to care enough to stay.

And really Matt isn't sure why he's seeking comfort from this girl. They rarely talk and it's completely atypical for him to seek comfort from anyone. But he just can't help holding on to Natasha for dear life.

"Shh, you can do this, Matt. You'll get through." He can feel her stroking his hair lightly. "You'll get through."

The sun is disappearing from sight when Natasha finally convinces him to get up from the floor and sit on the bed.

"You should take a shower." He nods, but doesn't move.

The girl really seems to care, but Matt won't trust her. He won't. It's a losing battle, he knows, but he'll fight it anyways. All the people that cared left eventually. All the people he trusted left. And he thinks that if he doesn't trust Natasha she won't leave. It's an irrational thought, he knows, but he's not above foolish thoughts. Not now. Not when he's just about as broken as he can get.

Natasha sighs and walks over to the bathroom. She opens the door and walks over to the shelf, where she takes a towel that she places on the chair. She takes a pair of pajamas out of the wardrobe and puts them in the bathroom as well. Then she comes back to him and taking his arm leads him over to it.

Matt feels like he's severely ill and Natasha has to take care of him, but he decides he'll let her do that. Even if it's only for today.

He showers for almost an hour and when he comes out (dressed in the pajamas Natasha had laid out) he finds the girl in a worried frenzy.

"Why didn't you answer?"

He stares at her because he seriously hasn't heard her calling, or maybe he's just good at ignoring shouts.

Matt doesn't answer but Natasha continues talking anyways.

"I thought you had drowned, Matt! I was ten seconds away from forcefully opening that door!"

Matt looks at her.

"Was tempting," he admits finally.

Startled by his honesty, she is silent for a few seconds. And really Matt's surprised by it, too, because the only person he was that honest with before was his best friend. Who is gone. And who Natasha reminds him of. So maybe that's the reason. It probably is. And really, it's pathetic, but he can't help it.

"Matt…" she whispers "Don't do that. Promise me you'll never do that."

"Why?" And this time his voice shows how broken he really is. Because the other (Matt can't bring himself to even think his name, not yet) had cracked open the shell Matt built around himself. He had punched a hole in the walls Matt had surrounded himself with. But no one but the two of them had noticed, because the other had kept it all covered up. Hidden it from the world. But now he's gone and Matt can't keep the hole covered on his own. And it's all spilling out.

Natasha grabs his shoulders and makes him look her straight in the eyes. Her eyes are nice. They are blue grey and filled with concern and warmth, but Matt finds himself wishing they were just a shade lighter, just a shade icier and just a shade colder. And then he wishes Natasha were taller and her hair just a tiny bit shorter and really this is ridiculous because why doesn't he just say (or rather think) it. He wishes it were his best friend who just grabbed his shoulders.

"Because the time will come when he will need you. When his life will depend on you. And you'll be there to save him. You have to be." She pauses for a moment. "So promise me you'll never do that. Or anything even remotely like that. Promise me."

She shakes him but her voice is a mere whisper when she continues. But he wishes she'd scream because that's how he always made him listen and Matt is desperate enough to cling to everything he can get.

"Promise me, Matt."

He looks at her. Silent. A tear slips out of her left eye and he can't help but wonder from which of his friends eyes the tear that dropped on the note fell.

"If not for me then for him. Please Matt."

He doesn't know why or how but he can hear himself whisper a response.

"I promise."

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So...

I hope you like it. If you don't, you don't, but please tell me why so I can improve.

**Reviews would be greatly appreciated.**


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